Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Spotting has started

And my breathing has stopped!

I woke up at 1:30am and went to the bathroom and discovered some pink spotting, very little. Thinking I must be dreaming or at least just seeing things I tried to go back to bed and not worry (lol, not worry, yeah right!)
When I got up for the day there was more. Holding back the tears I decided to remain positive and go on with getting ready for the day. There is no cramping so it can't be happening, right?

I read in one of my books that you can experience pink or brownish spotting due to the uterus stretching and not to worry unless it is accompanied by cramping or you see bright red.

As the day went on there was less and less and it turned to more of an orange'ish. Not sure what that means.

Needless to say I am on edge and scarred to death. Please God don't let this happen again! I've been praying all day!

Monday, October 23, 2006


I've been feeling nauseous for the last few weeks, but this week has been terrible! Before, I could just eat a little something and it would subside. This week I don't want to eat. Everything makes me want to vomit. I crave something and then the moment it touches my taste buds my stomach turns. I almost never feel full.
Those who know me, know that I LOVE to eat, so this nausea hasn't exactly slowed me down, but I have wasted a bit of food. Ian's always there to pick up the slack, lol. So for now I eat a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but not a whole lot of one thing. Not too bad.
I'm certainly not complaining, just recording my events. I know that the fact that I feel this way should be a little reassurance that everything is going well inside. Although, I still can't help but be fearful. It still doesn't feel completely real. So weird! I'm hoping that seeing an ultrasound that proves the baby is ok will help it all sink in for me. Apparently the 3 pregnancy tests just aren't enough, lol.

Welcome to 9 weeks!!!

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

It's official!

Today I went in for my pee test. I'm pregnant! Surprise, surprise, lol. It took about half an hour to get all my info into the computer and then I just pee'd in the cup and they came back with a slip and said "It's positive, give this to the girl at the desk."
That's it! No questions, no advice, no anything. I didn't even get to go into an office or exam room, she told me in the hallway by the waiting room. Kind of odd if you ask me.
Anyway, I gave my slip to the girl and I go back on Nov. 10th for my first appointment. That's Ian's birthday! I hope we get an ultrasound that day although I'm not so sure we will. All they told me was that the appointment will take about an hour that day. I should be 11 weeks by then so I'm hoping we can get it done. What a great birthday present that would be!

I'm thinking of inviting everyone over for Scott's birthday on Saturday (the 11th) and telling them all. But, I am afraid that it will take away from Scott's day. Being an only child, he likes to be the center of attention and his birthday is the one day that is dedicated just for him so I don't want everyone to be excited and talking about the baby and me and Ian and everything else when we should all be focused on celebrating his birthday and not my pregnancy. Although, I'm sure the presents he'll get would help that too.

I guess for now we'll just wait and see what happens, but I defiantly plan on telling Scott Friday (the 10th) after our appointment. Ian and I have been dying to tell him, but he knew first with the last pregnancy and then we had to tell him that it was gone. I just don't want to put him through it if something does go wrong. The older he gets the more questions he'll have and it's just not something that a 12 year old should have to worry about or deal with.

That's it for today. I can't wait for Nov. 10th!!!

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Starting 8 weeks!

This is the beginning of week 8. The due date, going by the LMP should be June 1st.

This week while I still have some subconscious lingering of doubt I've actually began to truly get excited. I don't totally expect to see spotting everytime I use the bathroom, but instead I am just so excited that I am pregnant and each time I go I am reassured that I'm still prego.

I feel extremely guilty because I haven't been able to go to the doctor yet because of changing my insurance companies. I should be going on Wednesday since that's my only weekday off for the next 2 weeks. I can't wait to schedule the first ultrasound. I just need to see it to really believe it. I almost feel like buying another tests...just to check. Why is it so hard to believe?

Ian has been incredible! The first night he came home from work with pickles and ice cream. Then just the other night he brought me home a dozen (pink) roses. I think he's bought a different kind of ice cream every other night since we found out. He's trying to fatten me up. I'm trying to eat healthy. It's so hard to eat healthy at work and not spend a fortune. With the puppies and everything else there just isn't time to make a lunch to bring every morning. To get good food out on a lunch break I have to spend nearly $10. That's $50 a week not to mention the $80 in gas and over $20 in tolls right now. Lately I've just been doing the Subway veggie delight. I love Subway and it's cheap but your not supposed to eat lunch meat when prego, so I'm stuck with the veggie delight or cooked subs, which aren't their healthiest variety. I love salads but not McDonald's or Wendy's salads. I think it mostly has to do with the dressing though. Maybe I'll buy my own dressing and try that with the fast food salads to make them better.

Ok, I'm really just endlessly rambling right now so it's time to go...bubye.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Panic and doubt

I've spent the entire week expecting to get my period. I must go to the bathroom 50 times a day, each time certain that I will see blood, and each time...nothing. It's so hard for me to believe this, I guess it's because I want it so badly.
In my first pregnancy it was rare to have one day with no spotting. This time I have everyday with no spotting. It's just unbelieveable. When will I stop doubting my body?