Saturday, November 03, 2007

A year ago today

One year ago today my heart stopped. I thought my dreams were crashing down around me.
I awoke this morning one year ago to spotting. Ian and I rushed to the ER. I was sobbing uncontrollably and Ian was desperately trying to comfort me. As we got to triage I was trying to explain what was going on and Ian said I should tell them about my previous miscarriage. That's when I really lost it. I could no longer speak I was crying so hard and was so scared that this was the end of the road for this little bean. They got us in and prepped for ultrasound. The tech fired up the machine, covered my belly with the goop...and then I saw the most beautiful sight I've ever seen, my little bean was alive and well and moving all around as if to say "it's ok Mom, I'm fine in here!"
I swear she was no bigger than a peanut, but I saw her little hand and tiny tiny fingers waving at me.
This little princess was God's gift to me and I am grateful for her each and everyday. I never forget what it took to get her here. The baby I lost that I believe brought her to us. I remember the fear, I remember the heartache, and every time I look at this angel on earth my soul is healed.
Also during this emotional day in my life, my best friend was experiencing the greatest day in hers. The birth of her son! She had no idea that I was even pregnant. As she was calling and texting me of all the details of my godson's birth I was trying so hard to be supportive and was so excited for her and so scared for myself at the same time.

So to me...November 3rd will always be the day that I got to see 2 beautiful miracles, my little bean, and this little man...

Happy Birthday Chris! I love you!!

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